Meal planning with ADHD can feel overwhelming, but small tweaks can help! Try these ADHD-friendly tips to make mealtimes easier for busy parents.
Can we collectively agree that getting dinner on the table is no easy task?! As a busy parent to two equally busy kids, trying to decide what to cook and when to cook it can feel overwhelming. I often forget to defrost or buy key ingredients until it’s too late. The “What’s for supper tonight?” loop feels never-ending. And when you’re a parent with ADHD, this can feel like even more of a lofty task.
For parents with ADHD, meal planning can pose a few extra challenges. There is an overwhelming mental load of being responsible for getting a nourishing supper on the table. When executive functioning skills are likely needing a reboot at the end of the day, it’s understandable that you may feel “decision fatigue” or avoidance.
When we’re feeling overwhelmed, we tend to gravitate towards what’s familiar and safe, which may look like buying multiples of the same ingredient, repeating the same meal over and over again (which by the way, is ok!), or feeling completely flooded and just ordering in. Have you seen that viral video of the guy who goes to the store to buy hoisin sauce only to find he’s already got five bottles? He’s not alone. I currently have fourteen boxes of macaroni noodles in my pantry.
As a busy mom and dietitian, here are five practical tips to help parents with ADHD feed their families.
When clients tell me their goal is to “become a better meal planner” I always respond with, “Great goal, but how?”. Big results-based goals are often where our brains like to focus, but it’s the smaller simple and more tangible goals that really help the goal become a reality.
My secret sauce to simple menu planning: Plan, purchase, prepare, pack. These four P-words need to occur in sequential order. For example, ever go to Costco without a grocery list? Chances are you’ve over-purchased (which isn’t hard to do at Costco), became overwhelmed with the organization and preparation part (everything comes in a supersize package), and then avoided it all by ordering takeout for supper. Sound familiar? We’ve all been there. Using the 4-Ps, start by making one small goal. This will help keep things realistic and attainable, while also avoiding overcommitment – something ADHD brains love to do.
I’ve listed a few example goals based on each phase of meal planning. Keep in mind the number of small goals you want to work on is completely individual – start small and build when you’re feeling ready.
Give yourself grace. Here’s a secret coming from a pediatric dietitian who loves eating, cooking, and baking… nobody–absolutely nobody–has meal planning figured out perfectly. So, ditch the expectation that things need to be perfect.
Find a friendly rotation that works for you. Tacos every Tuesday? Amazing! Once-a-week pasta night? Absolutely. Having a flexible plan allows for some structure but reduces the feeling of rigidity.
Batch cooking can be a game-changer for parents with ADHD. By focusing on one component of meal planning or prepping, it reduces the number of decisions needed, the overall amount of time required to get supper on the table, and best of all, stress! Basically, cook smarter, not harder!
Batch cooking can also help stretch the food budget in a time when food prices are off the charts. Here are some examples of how batch cooking can help save the day:
Motivation for meal planning naturally has ups and downs, especially with an ADHD brain, which tends to thrive on interest, novelty, or urgency. So, when motivation dips, give yourself full permission to keep it simple. This might look like rotisserie chicken, store-bought freezer meals, meal-kit delivery, or takeout – and that’s okay!
If it helps to have the same breakfast and lunch every day, that’s ok! Just make sure that you have a variety of foods and nutrients by the end of the day.
Here are a few tips to help with mealtime motivation:
Setting up, or building upon an existing routine, is one of the best things you can do as an ADHD parent. Parenting is tough. By the end of the day, decreased executive functioning and fatigue meet kids who are also running on empty—cue the battle zone. Add in primal hunger (aka: hanger), and things get even harder.
When we forget to nourish our bodies, we do ourselves a disservice. A possible lack of hunger awareness, when you have ADHD, can mean either completely forgetting to eat breakfast or grabbing something small t while running out the door, only to realize a bit later that we’re starving and reaching for dopamine-seeking foods. Setting a schedule can help. This might look like a calendar reminder for lunch, time blocking for nourishment breaks, or a visual cue (ie. post-it) on your desk to check in with your body.
Make routines work for you by creating a habit stack or scaffold. For example, if you always grab coffee around 10:00 am, move the fruit bowl next to the coffee machine. This visual cue means you’re more likely to grab a snack. Another example would be a sticky note next to your toothbrush reminding you to defrost something for the next day. Or planning your grocery run while you wait between sports pick-ups and drop-offs.
One trick that I do is keep mason jars in the same cupboard as my kids’ lunchboxes. So when I build lunches at the end of the day, I also make overnight oats for breakfast the next morning! If the plan works, keep going. If not, let’s revise!
If you thought meal planning was tough, let’s throw another challenge into the mix. Parents with ADHD often have kiddos with ADHD! Kids with ADHD tend to have unique preferences around taste and texture of foods (which can impact their nutrition), as well as unique mealtime behaviour battles (cue frustrating mealtimes). Check out this blog post on picky eating and ADHD to take a deeper dive. You can also check out what causes picky eating.
If this sounds like your family – please reach out for support – you’re not alone, and a CNC dietitian can help! But to get you started here are my three top tips:
Deep breaths. Feeding kids takes a lot of patience and compassion. Kids might not like all the food we provide, and that’s okay. What we want to avoid is giving kids too much control. Parents are responsible for deciding what food is offered, and it’s okay to show compassion in our offerings. In my house, mixed meals always have a side of bread.
There are some days when even this food might be rejected, and that’s okay too. Being consistent means not taking a menu order, but offering a variety of preferred foods regularly and with compassion.
This is a big one. Kids need their psychological and physiological needs met to be confident at the table (confidence can lead to increased food variety). For sensory-based eaters, there is familiarity with favourite foods – whether this is a familiar package or shape. Having these foods presented alongside less familiar foods helps kids feel safe.
The same can be true for comfort in body – itchy clothes, strong-smelling foods, etc. can also be tricky. Trust is a two-way street, so no bribery or two-bite rule, please. Kids will reach for food when they’re ready.
If your child is on medication for ADHD, a common side effect might be reduced appetite. When their medication starts to wear off you might notice that they are hungry! Let’s maximize this opportunity. Medication is often timed to be over the school hours – so I find a lot of kids start feeling hungry from after school to bedtime.
Don’t worry too much about supper (an inherently tricky meal) but focus on afterschool snack and potentially a bedtime snack. This might sound silly but treat the afternoon snack like a mini-supper, and a potential bedtime snack as boring. I find this helps with mealtime behaviour, as kids aren’t h’angry coming to the supper table, and by keeping bedtime snack boring kids don’t ditch their supper for the more exciting evening snack. Keep in mind that all family schedules and kids are different – and that you are the expert in yours!
You made it to the end! It’s important to note that there is no one-size-fits-all solution. Experiment with what works best for you and your family. We are all unique, so have self-compassion. You’re doing great.
If you do need a bit of extra support, our Centred Nutrition Collective dietitians provide expert counselling all across Canada. And the best part? Our services are often covered by extended health benefits!
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